i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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