two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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