I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
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Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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