He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize