Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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