weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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