Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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