Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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