Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize