i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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