She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
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For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize