I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize