I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
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She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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