Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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