Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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