I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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