When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize