I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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