Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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