....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize