i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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