Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize