wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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