reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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