if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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