we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize