He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think I just sharted jello shots
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