lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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