Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize