im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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