I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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