apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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