is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize