Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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