thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize