go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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