If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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