there's paper in my vomit.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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