You're my little dorito
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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