During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize