Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I party with great urgency now.
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