If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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