1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize