he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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