No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You don't make any sense
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