When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize