My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize