and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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