I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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