So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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